Lady things are happening…

After months of cramps and breakouts, Solana finally started her period on July 10, 2015 – at 12 years old. Thankfully, she was fully prepared for this moment due to our many talks, but she still had many questions, which is totally understandable. She didn’t care about starting; but she did get bummed about not being able to swim.

This milestone has served as yet another thrust in bringing us closer together. She’s asking for more mami time and I absolutely love it. I pray that we only grow closer each and every year.

I love my Nini.

Don’t let the past define you

Solana and Sienna,

Inevitably you will make mistakes – things you regret. But you need to learn to love yourself and forgive yourself, as well as others. Always keep love at the forefront of your decisions.

Here’s a lesson on this from something I read:

“You ruin your life by letting your past govern it. It is common for certain things in life to happen to you. There will be heartbreak, confusion, days where you feel like you aren’t special or purposeful. There are moments that will stay with you, words that will stick. You cannot let these define you – they were simply moments, they were simply words. If you allow for every negative event in your life to outline how you view yourself, you will view the world around you negatively.

“If you don’t allow yourself to move past what happened, what was said, what was felt, you will look at your future with that lens, and nothing will be able to breach that judgment. You will keep on justifying, reliving, and fueling a perception that shouldn’t have existed in the first place.”

The bottom line here is, you are what you believe. The self-fulfilling prophecy is more than just a notion. So love yourself; forgive yourself; love and laugh often.

Ustedes son my vida!

Recent Moments

On Wednesday, Oct. 15, my sweet Sienna wanted me to lay with her prior to going to sleep and it just so happened that I was going to sleep next to her anyway this night because Abuelita Berta and Tio were in town.

Well, when I laid next to her, she grabbed my face, caressed it and held my hand telling me how much she loved me. She always has to touch me and it just shows how much she’s still in love with me (since that fades once they grow from babies to teens). It doesn’t matter where we sit, she has to sit either on me (preferred choice) or next to me, but always touching me. I love it so much and it’s moments like this that I will treasure forever.

Then the following morning, I had a moment with my sweet Solana. She’s not an affectionate person like Sienna, but she has her own way of connecting with me on a different, much mature and sincere level. She may not be into me hugging, kissing and doting on her, but she does like and appreciate my attention.

On the morning of Thursday, Oct. 16 as I was dropping her off at school, we were coming out of a personal but funny conversation in which I was making her laugh (which doesn’t happen often so I was loving it). And as she was getting out of the car, she just smiled this lovely smile at me. Then as she went to the back of the car to grab her bag out of the hatch, she did it again – smiled a giant smile at me and made eye contact with me through the rear-view mirror. Already swollen with much love and thinking I got such a treat from her, I got ONE MORE glance as she walked away. It was greatness and I knew it was her way of telling me she loved me so much.

I’m so grateful to God and the universe for my beautiful babies and these memorable moments.

Rave Reviews at School This Year

I’ve been meaning to write this post since the parent/teacher conferences earlier this school year. The girls both got rave reviews.

Solana’s teachers had wonderful things to say about her integrity, selflessness and work ethic. And when the teacher asked her about something special that Sol had done that made her feel good, she responded with a story about a time in Gifted and Talented (GT) in which they had to break up into groups and one of her friends was going to be stuck in a group that was considered the “outsider” group. Sol said her friend started crying because she didn’t want to be with this group of strange kids that no one really talked to. When Sol saw how sad her friend was, she left the “cool” group she was in to allow her friend to have that spot and she took the spot in the less popular group. She told me she felt really good about what she did and that she ended up making new friends in the process. I couldn’t have been more proud at the selfless act of kindness Solana exhibited that day. She always makes me want to be a better person.

Sienna also got rave reviews this year. The biggest compliment she got from her teacher was that every time an assignment was given, before Sienna would begin tackling it, she would walk over to Woods, a boy with special needs, to make sure he understood the task and even go as far as to get him started. I was so happy to hear that my baby girl was taking care of others who couldn’t take care of themselves.

In each of these instances, I believe the girls showed their true spirits and their inherent ability to lead. I have no doubt we are raising extraordinary girls who will continue to love, care and give to others, leaving this world a little better than how they found it.

Lesson

Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.

Advice for my awesome girls!

My sweet baby girls. We are so blessed to be women. And on that note, please remember to always be yourself and do what YOU want. Here are a few tips to help you make it through this life as a bad-ass woman:

1. Chocolate is only a temporary fix.

2. A properly-fitting bra is not a luxury. It is a necessity.

3. Your happiness is your happiness and yours alone.

4. How to apply red lipstick.

5. How to wear the crap out of red lipstick.

6. A boyfriend does not validate your existence.

7. Eat the extra slice of pizza.

8. Wear what makes you feel gracefully at ease.

9. Love the world unconditionally.

10. Seek beauty in all things.

11. Buy your friends dinner when you can.

12. Wear sunscreen like it’s your second job.

13. Try with all your might to keep in contact with far-away friends.

14. Make the world feel at ease around you.

15. Walk with your head up.

16. Order a cheeseburger on the first date if you want to.

17. Never, ever bite your nails.

18. Swipe on some lipstick, put on your leather jacket, and sneak into a bar somewhere – but NEVER drink and drive.

19. Learn from your mistakes that night.

20. Dental hygiene is not multiple choice.

21. Your GPA is not a confession of your character.

22. There is strength in feeling your feelings and breaking down.

23. You don’t have to like yoga, but it might make you feel better.

24. Pick a tea.

25. Take care of your feet.

26. Pick a perfume.

27. Even if you’re tall, wear the heels anyway.

28. Classy is a relative term.

29. Drink whiskey if you like whiskey.

30. Drink wine if you like wine.

31. Like what you like.

32. Offer no explanation – Like Hepburn said, “Never complain. Never explain.”

33. Aleve and Powerrade.

34. You are no less of a woman when you’re in sweats and gym shoes than a woman in stilettos and a pencil skirt.

35. A woman is a woman is a woman.

36. Love your fellow woman with all your heart and soul – don’t hate and don’t envy; it looks bad and only hurts you.

37. Cry, uninhibited, with your friends.

38. Laugh until you can’t breathe with your friends.

39. Tell me everything -I’m your mom and will always be your best friend.

40. Exercise to be strong and healthy. A beautiful soul needs a sturdy vessel.

41. There is no shame in hoping for love.

42. My cooking is the best cooking.

43. Do not take sex lightly.

44. I mean it.

45. Anna Karenina. It would be wise for all of us to read it.

46. The world spins on the principle of inherent tragedy.

47. Do not be blind to it.

48. Men are effectively idiots until the age of 40. And even then, they need a good woman to take care of them. But they also need to step it up. Remember, you need care too.

49. Carbohydrates are not the enemy.

50. Involve yourself in an organized activity of your choosing.

51. Listen to classical music occasionally.

52. Take hot baths.

53. Buy yourself girly things, such as lotions, Hello Kitty and purses.

54. You are more than capable.

55. I promise.

56. Smile often, but don’t smile if you don’t mean it. Be true, even if it means feelings get hurt (but don’t be mean – there’s a balance).

57. Mean your anger. Mean your sadness. Mean your pain.

58. I am always, always listening.

59. Travel.

60. Be smart and sharp – always know your surroundings and be prepared for the worst to happen.

61. Make me proud.

62. Make me worry but in a good way.

63. Come home smelly, tired, and with a good story.

64. Life is about entrances and exits.

65. Always see the bright side and make the best out of terrible situations.

66. Well-fitting and modest is ALWAYS sexier than too small and tight (but there’s a time for small and tight 😉

67. Who cares if glitter isn’t tasteful? It’s fun!

68. It’s too much eyeliner if you have to ask.

69. Learn to bake and don’t forget the flour in the cookies!!

70. Humility and subservience are not synonyms.

71. Wash your face every night and always use moisturizer.

72. Be gentle with your skin.

73. Science is really cool.

74. So is literature.

75. Write your thoughts down – always capture the moment.

76. Start learning how to save money – think about saving more than spending.

77. There is no substitute for fresh air.

78. Carry your weight.

79. Make up for it later if you can’t.

80. That salad is not better than pasta and it never will be.

81. You’re fooling no one.

82. Find at least three green vegetables you can tolerate.

83. A smoothie is always good.

84. Expect the best from everyone.

85. Know that people will let you down.

86. Bask in the sun (wearing a sunhat and SPF 90).

87. There is a certain kind of man you need to avoid at all costs.

88. You’ll know it when you meet him.

89. What other people say is right doesn’t always feel right.

90. What feels right is where your happiness is.

91. Give thoughtful gifts.

92. Form an opinion.

93. Stick to it.

94. Exfoliation in moderation.

95. Argue with people when you need to; but pick your battles – don’t by a negative Nancy.

96. If it’s worth fighting for, fight fiercely.

97. Don’t fight for acceptance.

98. You shouldn’t have to.

99. Take pictures, but not too many.

100. Follow your bliss at all costs. (I’m cutting you off at 22, though).

101. Chocolate cake and cupcakes, however, might just be a permanent fix.

I LOVE YOU. YOU ARE MY LIFE. STAY HUNGRY AND DO GOOD!

My Sol, My Friend

I had an unprecedented evening with Sol today. We bonded like we’ve never bonded before.

After spending several hours at Blues on the Green and having a great time with friends, we headed to our car, which was parked along the edge of Mopac’s northbound access road at the entrance of Zilker Park. We were so ready to get our sweat-soaked bodies home for showers when we realized we were blocked in. Several smart drivers apparently had failed to notice that if they parked behind us that they would block us in. So we sat and waited, and waited, and waited, bonding with a couple next to us who was in the same boat, but without paddles to get anywhere!!

While we waited in the dark on the side of the road, Sol kept telling me she felt scared; I think the combination of nighttime and uncertainty made her nervous and fearful. Anyway, after waiting like an hour and a half for the morons who had blocked us in to move their cars, we finally got to leave, but not before me and the other frustrated woman tore into these idiot drivers. Well, it was this directed and heated attack that set Sol over the edge and ultimately made her want to be close to me the rest of the night.

When we got home, she kept telling me she didn’t want to go to sleep yet. She kept saying she wanted to be with me, like in the restroom while I showered and to sleep with me. By this point, we still needed to eat dinner. So I started heating up leftovers, and as I served us our late night snack, I asked Sol if she wanted to watch TV while we ate, and it was her answer that changed everything and was the sole cause for this post. She said, “No, I want to talk. We never just talk.”

I couldn’t believe what I had just heard and I was THRILLED that my daughter who is quickly becoming that “go-away-my-mom-is-so-dumb” tween actually wanted to talk to me!!!! 🙂

So we did just that…we talked. She told me about a boy she liked; she talked about her friends and their interests. It was as if I was conversing with a young adult. It was unprecedented and unforgettable. I will treasure this night forever.

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My dancing Sol

I bonded with Sol tonight. She showed me some of the dance moves she’s learning in jazz and ballet. As I noticed her attention to detail like her pointed toe and correct arm position, it hit me that she really does have talent. I gave her some tips, then we both did pirouettes and danced on our toes…

It was an awesome moment. We hugged so tight afterwards. I love my tiny dancer 🙂

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Sol performs her recorder

Sol had a performance at school tonight in which she played her recorder, this smaller, plastic rendition of a clarinet.

Anyway, she was fabulous, as she should be because she practices ALL the time! My sweet baby!!

shy girl

So for homework tonight, Sol had to answer some questions about herself. One of the questions was in regards to what embarrasses her. She looked down at her paper and said, “meeting new people.” And then she started crying. It just broke my heart so much. I hugged her and let her cry on my shoulder and told her that being shy was not a bad thing. I told her that her daddy was very shy and that that was one of the reasons I loved him.

It was a very touching moment. I love my shy girl so much. And would never want her to be any different.