Don’t let the past define you

Solana and Sienna,

Inevitably you will make mistakes – things you regret. But you need to learn to love yourself and forgive yourself, as well as others. Always keep love at the forefront of your decisions.

Here’s a lesson on this from something I read:

“You ruin your life by letting your past govern it. It is common for certain things in life to happen to you. There will be heartbreak, confusion, days where you feel like you aren’t special or purposeful. There are moments that will stay with you, words that will stick. You cannot let these define you – they were simply moments, they were simply words. If you allow for every negative event in your life to outline how you view yourself, you will view the world around you negatively.

“If you don’t allow yourself to move past what happened, what was said, what was felt, you will look at your future with that lens, and nothing will be able to breach that judgment. You will keep on justifying, reliving, and fueling a perception that shouldn’t have existed in the first place.”

The bottom line here is, you are what you believe. The self-fulfilling prophecy is more than just a notion. So love yourself; forgive yourself; love and laugh often.

Ustedes son my vida!

Recent Moments

On Wednesday, Oct. 15, my sweet Sienna wanted me to lay with her prior to going to sleep and it just so happened that I was going to sleep next to her anyway this night because Abuelita Berta and Tio were in town.

Well, when I laid next to her, she grabbed my face, caressed it and held my hand telling me how much she loved me. She always has to touch me and it just shows how much she’s still in love with me (since that fades once they grow from babies to teens). It doesn’t matter where we sit, she has to sit either on me (preferred choice) or next to me, but always touching me. I love it so much and it’s moments like this that I will treasure forever.

Then the following morning, I had a moment with my sweet Solana. She’s not an affectionate person like Sienna, but she has her own way of connecting with me on a different, much mature and sincere level. She may not be into me hugging, kissing and doting on her, but she does like and appreciate my attention.

On the morning of Thursday, Oct. 16 as I was dropping her off at school, we were coming out of a personal but funny conversation in which I was making her laugh (which doesn’t happen often so I was loving it). And as she was getting out of the car, she just smiled this lovely smile at me. Then as she went to the back of the car to grab her bag out of the hatch, she did it again – smiled a giant smile at me and made eye contact with me through the rear-view mirror. Already swollen with much love and thinking I got such a treat from her, I got ONE MORE glance as she walked away. It was greatness and I knew it was her way of telling me she loved me so much.

I’m so grateful to God and the universe for my beautiful babies and these memorable moments.

Rave Reviews at School This Year

I’ve been meaning to write this post since the parent/teacher conferences earlier this school year. The girls both got rave reviews.

Solana’s teachers had wonderful things to say about her integrity, selflessness and work ethic. And when the teacher asked her about something special that Sol had done that made her feel good, she responded with a story about a time in Gifted and Talented (GT) in which they had to break up into groups and one of her friends was going to be stuck in a group that was considered the “outsider” group. Sol said her friend started crying because she didn’t want to be with this group of strange kids that no one really talked to. When Sol saw how sad her friend was, she left the “cool” group she was in to allow her friend to have that spot and she took the spot in the less popular group. She told me she felt really good about what she did and that she ended up making new friends in the process. I couldn’t have been more proud at the selfless act of kindness Solana exhibited that day. She always makes me want to be a better person.

Sienna also got rave reviews this year. The biggest compliment she got from her teacher was that every time an assignment was given, before Sienna would begin tackling it, she would walk over to Woods, a boy with special needs, to make sure he understood the task and even go as far as to get him started. I was so happy to hear that my baby girl was taking care of others who couldn’t take care of themselves.

In each of these instances, I believe the girls showed their true spirits and their inherent ability to lead. I have no doubt we are raising extraordinary girls who will continue to love, care and give to others, leaving this world a little better than how they found it.

Advice for my awesome girls!

My sweet baby girls. We are so blessed to be women. And on that note, please remember to always be yourself and do what YOU want. Here are a few tips to help you make it through this life as a bad-ass woman:

1. Chocolate is only a temporary fix.

2. A properly-fitting bra is not a luxury. It is a necessity.

3. Your happiness is your happiness and yours alone.

4. How to apply red lipstick.

5. How to wear the crap out of red lipstick.

6. A boyfriend does not validate your existence.

7. Eat the extra slice of pizza.

8. Wear what makes you feel gracefully at ease.

9. Love the world unconditionally.

10. Seek beauty in all things.

11. Buy your friends dinner when you can.

12. Wear sunscreen like it’s your second job.

13. Try with all your might to keep in contact with far-away friends.

14. Make the world feel at ease around you.

15. Walk with your head up.

16. Order a cheeseburger on the first date if you want to.

17. Never, ever bite your nails.

18. Swipe on some lipstick, put on your leather jacket, and sneak into a bar somewhere – but NEVER drink and drive.

19. Learn from your mistakes that night.

20. Dental hygiene is not multiple choice.

21. Your GPA is not a confession of your character.

22. There is strength in feeling your feelings and breaking down.

23. You don’t have to like yoga, but it might make you feel better.

24. Pick a tea.

25. Take care of your feet.

26. Pick a perfume.

27. Even if you’re tall, wear the heels anyway.

28. Classy is a relative term.

29. Drink whiskey if you like whiskey.

30. Drink wine if you like wine.

31. Like what you like.

32. Offer no explanation – Like Hepburn said, “Never complain. Never explain.”

33. Aleve and Powerrade.

34. You are no less of a woman when you’re in sweats and gym shoes than a woman in stilettos and a pencil skirt.

35. A woman is a woman is a woman.

36. Love your fellow woman with all your heart and soul – don’t hate and don’t envy; it looks bad and only hurts you.

37. Cry, uninhibited, with your friends.

38. Laugh until you can’t breathe with your friends.

39. Tell me everything -I’m your mom and will always be your best friend.

40. Exercise to be strong and healthy. A beautiful soul needs a sturdy vessel.

41. There is no shame in hoping for love.

42. My cooking is the best cooking.

43. Do not take sex lightly.

44. I mean it.

45. Anna Karenina. It would be wise for all of us to read it.

46. The world spins on the principle of inherent tragedy.

47. Do not be blind to it.

48. Men are effectively idiots until the age of 40. And even then, they need a good woman to take care of them. But they also need to step it up. Remember, you need care too.

49. Carbohydrates are not the enemy.

50. Involve yourself in an organized activity of your choosing.

51. Listen to classical music occasionally.

52. Take hot baths.

53. Buy yourself girly things, such as lotions, Hello Kitty and purses.

54. You are more than capable.

55. I promise.

56. Smile often, but don’t smile if you don’t mean it. Be true, even if it means feelings get hurt (but don’t be mean – there’s a balance).

57. Mean your anger. Mean your sadness. Mean your pain.

58. I am always, always listening.

59. Travel.

60. Be smart and sharp – always know your surroundings and be prepared for the worst to happen.

61. Make me proud.

62. Make me worry but in a good way.

63. Come home smelly, tired, and with a good story.

64. Life is about entrances and exits.

65. Always see the bright side and make the best out of terrible situations.

66. Well-fitting and modest is ALWAYS sexier than too small and tight (but there’s a time for small and tight 😉

67. Who cares if glitter isn’t tasteful? It’s fun!

68. It’s too much eyeliner if you have to ask.

69. Learn to bake and don’t forget the flour in the cookies!!

70. Humility and subservience are not synonyms.

71. Wash your face every night and always use moisturizer.

72. Be gentle with your skin.

73. Science is really cool.

74. So is literature.

75. Write your thoughts down – always capture the moment.

76. Start learning how to save money – think about saving more than spending.

77. There is no substitute for fresh air.

78. Carry your weight.

79. Make up for it later if you can’t.

80. That salad is not better than pasta and it never will be.

81. You’re fooling no one.

82. Find at least three green vegetables you can tolerate.

83. A smoothie is always good.

84. Expect the best from everyone.

85. Know that people will let you down.

86. Bask in the sun (wearing a sunhat and SPF 90).

87. There is a certain kind of man you need to avoid at all costs.

88. You’ll know it when you meet him.

89. What other people say is right doesn’t always feel right.

90. What feels right is where your happiness is.

91. Give thoughtful gifts.

92. Form an opinion.

93. Stick to it.

94. Exfoliation in moderation.

95. Argue with people when you need to; but pick your battles – don’t by a negative Nancy.

96. If it’s worth fighting for, fight fiercely.

97. Don’t fight for acceptance.

98. You shouldn’t have to.

99. Take pictures, but not too many.

100. Follow your bliss at all costs. (I’m cutting you off at 22, though).

101. Chocolate cake and cupcakes, however, might just be a permanent fix.

I LOVE YOU. YOU ARE MY LIFE. STAY HUNGRY AND DO GOOD!

Sienna is so affectionate

Sienna is my little lover. With her munchkin voice and tiny body, she always finds her way into the tightest of snuggle spaces with you. Sitting next to you is not enough; she has to sit where she is touching you, most often this entails sitting on you. And it’s the sweetest thing; although her sissy gets pretty annoyed at her need to be so close.

I love her affection and hope she never changes.

FINALLY potty trained…well at least for #1

I’m happy to report that Sienna finally goes to the potty on her own…well at least when she has to pee. We don’t have the poo-poo down yet; she still has daily accidents with that, and let me tell you how fun it is to clean out those panties!!!

funny sienna

Sienna is clearly the clown of the family. She does the funniest things sometimes that just make us laugh so hard.

Yesterday, for instance, Sol was saying something and Sienna just blurted out “whatever Solana.” And her proununciation for things is just so peculiar and cute. She can’t really express an “s”, so when she says “Solana” it sounds like “Tolana”.

She’s also pretty obsessed with her booty. She always talks about shaking her booty and walks around naked, actually shaking her booty any chance she gets!!

She’s quite the character!

Ay ya yay, Sienna!!

I’ve come to the harsh realization that I have that 2-year-old that you see in the stores – you know the one that gets everyone’s attention, not so much because they are adorable (which they usually always are), but because they are screaming and having spaztic jirations.

I adore you, Sienna…more than you will ever know. You are my last baby, which makes you special (kind of like the fact that Solana is also special since she is my first.) Anyway, I love you, but damn, you are one tough baby!!

Lately, I’ve been able to control your fits with counting – uno, dos, tres – which by tres you know what’s coming, so you are usually acting right by then.

I know you are going through a rough time right now. The “terrible twos”, as we call them, are really nothing but a misunderstanding between you (the two year old) and your feelings. Physcially you are two; but emotionally, you are experiencing the same feelings that adults do – anger, sadness, jealously, etc. The differnce is, you just don’t know how to handle them. And in reality, many adults still struggle with this. Even I and your daddy do at times. Afterall, we are just human.

My point is, these are trying times, but we will get through it. We love you dearly and want to enjoy every moment with you, even if it means having to endure your high-pitched, glass-shattering screams 😉

Sienna’s birth

So all of you who know me know that my pregnancies were both very difficult…hyperemesis, dizzyness, bitchyness, etc…but I’m proud to say that both labor and deliveries were great. Sienna was born last Wed, Sept. 27 and I swear it was one of the easiest things I’ve ever done. One push and there she was, beautiful as ever. Thank you, God.