Today is always hard

August 31 is the day your daddy and I got married (in 2002). After two years of being divorced, it hasn’t gotten any easier to think about the significance of this day. Sometimes I wish we could just go back, when life seemed so much simpler.

At least two great things came out of this day – you two girls! And because of that I can always look at this day with love in my soul, despite my pain. 

“Running” and tears at Taco Bell

It was the last Thursday of summer break and Sienna and I were having lunch at Taco Bell. All of the sudden, “Running” by No Doubt came on the restaurant speakers and tears filled my eyes. Sienna asked what was wrong and I told her the song reminded me of daddy. She then proceeded to tell me that she heard the song “Say Something” in the car with her grandmother and she said it made her cry thinking of me and daddy. She started to cry as she recalled the moment, which made me cry more. So there we sat, in Taco Bell, both of us crying and neither one of us giving a fuck who saw us. We just cried – this was our moment of shared pain. 

Pain is the toughest but most necessary emotion to face. There’s no way around it so you need to just embrace it. To heal, we must feel our feelings and carry on. It’s ok to get stuck in the moment, feel the pain, but you gotta pick up again and choose to smile. 

The truth is, the tears of this circumstance will probably never subside, so we must cope as the memories surface. And never forget to recall the good times and smile.